"I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor"

08 October 2009

 by KalikeCA, Esq

George Bernard Shaw once said that dancing is "the vertical expression of a horizontal desire legitimized by music." To me, this is the truest statement that describes the way Pepa and Silvia interacted when they were dancing together. It was more than just two people moving to the flow of the music. It was like the music became infused with their entire body, adding a whole new level of sensuality to their relationship. If you don't believe me, then you should stop reading right now and go re-watch the beginning of Episode 103. I'm serious. Go re-watch it. I'll wait. Ok. Now that you have a visual of what I'm talking about, we can focus on you. How can you capitalize on expressing yourself vertically? That's easy. All you need to do is follow PepSi's dance lessons.

Step 1: Have confidence. Confidence is sexy. Pepa never said she was fantastic dancer, and she didn't need to - her confidence in her dancing abilities spoke for her. At Rocio's bachelorette party, Pepa didn't hesitate to get up and dance the hell out of the Flamenco, and her confidence worked wonders. Silvia spent most of that dance shooting daggers a Pepa's dance partner, wishing that she was the one dancing with Pepa. So, you don't have to be the best dancer in the world to be the sexiest. You simply have to have confidence in yourself and believe that you can be sexy even when you're doing something as simple as "picking up a fucking file."
Step 2: Practice and don't be afraid to ask for help. Practice makes perfect, and sometimes you have to be willing to accept help if you want to improve your dancing skills. PepSi definitely recognized this. Even though it was for an undercover mission, Pepa and Silvia knew that they had to be convincing in their role as strippers or their cover would be blown. So they practiced. Sure, Silvia was using it (and her feigned inexperience in dancing) as a pretense to get Pepa to touch her, but we all know that PepSi were masters in the art of multitasking. And let's face it: that rehearsal was extremely productive in more ways than one. So take the time to practice and see how you can perfect your dance steps. If you aren't near an interrogation room, improvise and use a mirror at home. Or your nearest parking garage.
Step 3: Trust your partner. Every single dance that Pepa and Silvia shared together was sexy, because they were always in sync with each other. Regardless of whether they were doing a striptease, rocking out, or moving to a slow dance, they were playing off of the vibes that they got from each other. This energy is what added a whole new level of sensuality to their dancing. So trust your partner - let her help you reach a vertical level of desire you've never experienced before.
Step 4: Listen to the music. If dancing really is the "vertical expression of a horizontal desire," then when you're dancing you are really having a ménage à trois between you, your dance partner, and the music. So let the music be your guide. Don't be afraid to let loose and rock out when the music calls for it. At the same time, don't be afraid to pull your partner closer to you during slower, more romantic tunes. Let the music wash over you and block out the rest of the world so that it's just the two of you sharing that intimate moment together on the dance floor. After all, in that moment all that really matters is you, her, and the music. If you do it right, you'll end up experiencing something like this:
And that, my friends, is what the vertical expression of a horizontal desire looks like.

I'm willing to bet that every single one of you girls looks good on the dance floor, so grab the Pepa or Silvia in your life and have some fun!

kalike

*The title for this lecture is based on the song "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor" by Arctic Monkeys.