BMF'S FOOD COLUMN

21 October 2009

by Chef BigMarianFan

I was meant to be writing a food column this week, describing the wonderful cuisine we had on our trip to Amsterdam. Unfortunately BMF smoked one too many "herbal cigarettes" and spent far too much time in the red light district practising pole dancing and how to drink shots off various female body parts, meaning I did not find much time to eat!. What shocked me the most is when I FINALLY sat down at a restaurant, exhausted, blurry eyed, in need of a nice warming dish to return me back to planet earth, this is what was presented to me (see above)

Needless to say after indulging in that menu, I was away with the fairies again and had to return to the comfort of my hotel room where Azwombat was waiting for me in the shower. She had been there for hours and her skin was all shrivelled like a prunes (or like Scoopgirl after her jacuzzi session with Booker)! I tried to leave the hotel room, to go find PM and KalikeCA but apparently PM had passed out in "Celas Bar" in the centre of town, having attempted to try every drink they sold and as for KalikeCA, well she had found a karaoke bar and point blank refused to leave until they played every song on the jukebox!


Dr Booker informed me that the Uitsmijter and Erwtensoep were fantastic and she very kindly sent me some pictures from her Blackberry.


For those of you who have no idea what Erwtensoep and Uitsmijter are, I will summarise.

Erwtensoep - a Dutch pea soup made with gammon and split peas. Booker spoon fed Scoopgirl this while whispering sweet nothings in to her ear.

Uitsmijter- fried ham and eggs with mustard cheese (or food you chomp on when you have the munchies).

I know you all expected recipes this week but I had no memorable food whatsoever that was worth recreating back home. I did see and smell some wonderful foods in the various restaurants I stumbled past and think they deserve special mention.

I did bring back a lot of other new skills beside cooking though and I plan on trying them out on whoever is willing! I thoroughly enjoyed our little trip but only wish we could have spent more time together.

Pannekoeken and Poffertjes - Dutch pancakes similar to French crepes, served flat on a dinner plate, topped with confectioners' sugar, jam, syrup, hot apples, or typically Dutch hot ginger sauce. The less common kind are called pannekoeken which contain different types of meat. Poffertjes are small fried-pancake "puffs" coated with confectioners' sugar and filled with syrup or liqueur.

Uitsmijter -- An open-faced sandwich consisting of a buttered slice of bread (or two) topped with cold cuts and fried eggs

Saucijzenbrood - A hot dog, except the bun's made of flaky pastry and the hot dog is a spicy Dutch wurst, or sausage. Again they looked delicisious and if I ever return, that will be the first thing I wrap my lips around!

Tostis -Grilled ham-and-cheese sandwiches (Okay we actually have these in every country so they are not that special!)


Vlammetjes (little flames) - diminutive spring rolls which make up in fiery aggression for what they lack in size