31 October 2009
(Originally posted on 27 Sept 2009)
LHDP 3x26
(If you want to watch the Silvia-only clip without downloading it, the link is at the end of the post. You can also download the full episode here.)
From last episode: Mr. Chipmunk is in the holding cell with Don Lorenzo who is determined to do a Dick Cheney just to get a confession out of him. Paco sends Mariano home for a time out because his pain about Bernarda's death all rush back upon seeing Mr. Chipmunk. Lucas and Sara are planning a getaway to Madagascar for Sara's 18th birthday. Since Mariano is home, Paco asks him to tail Lola whom he suspects of having an affair; the two end up flirting. Ruth The Mole activates Plan B and sends the bad guys to the comisaria to "rescue" Mr. Chipmunk (although she herself has carried on the facade of being another innocent bystander). They get in by pretending to be bad cops and cadavers in a body bag - Silvia is Ground Zero for this operation.
Silvia is being led down the stairs by the bad guys to take her place amongst the hostages. Great acting from MA when they throw her down the floor. Drama School pays off. Curtis, who was shot (AGAIN!) when he went to the holding cell and was used as a negotiating pawn instead, is dragged next to Silvia.
Silvia calls Quique over to assist her in stopping the bleeding. Silvia proceeds to remove her SUJETADOR to use as a torniquet. At which point I too want to get shot just so Silvia can patch me up with her bra.
Bad Guy asks what Silvia is doing. Really? Can't you just enjoy the show? Silvia carefully removes her bra and waves it at Bad Guy to prove that there aren't any hidden weapons.
Really, there's no weapon, and if I were you, Bad Guy, I'd prostrate my self in front of that piece of clothing, because I know the sacred place where it just came from.
Hello, nipples! Okay, carry on then. Silvia uses her bra as a torniquet to try to stop Curtis' bleeding. Curtis, you're one lucky sonofabitch. I want to be that bra in my next life.
Silvia looks at Paco - DL needs his insulin shot or he could die (or go on a diabetic coma). Before she crawls over to Paco, et. al., she asks Quique to apply pressure to the entry wound and tells him not to be afraid.
Silvia talks to Ruth, Montoya, and Paco about her father. Paco looks over to the Bad Guys and sees the body of Eva Internal Affairs, who was killed earlier before she could testify against Mr. Chipmunk. (Pove, who was standing near by, got sprayed all over his face by Eva's blood, hence his 2-episode red face makeup)Paco cowboys up and decides to talk to the bad guys. He wants to negotiate: give DL his insulin shot and Silvia will patch up Uriarte's gunshot wound in the leg.
Bad Guy points a gun at Silvia, who remains calm and brave. She says that their boss will die without medical attention, and she is the only doctor on the floor.
She asks Bad Guy to let her get the medical instruments she needs and she can save his boss' life. For someone who was just shot by these very same fuckers (and boy, were we reminded over and over via slow motion flashbacks), Silvia remains brave and defiant in front of a loaded gun pointed at her head. I love you Silvia! Will you Marry me?
Silvia is at the holding cell applying a torniquet to Uriarte's leg to stop the bleeding while DL still has him in a choke hold with a gun pointed at this neck.
When Silvia attempts to give DL the insulin shot, Uriarte stops her, and with his goons all pointing their guns at Silvia, Paco, and DL, Silvia has no choice. DL tells her not to worry about him and to take care of Curtis and Rita (who, as anyone can expect from LHDP, goes into labor).Uriarte wants to escape and demands a helicopter for a clean getaway. DL says No Way. Chipmunk says that if they don't comply, his goons will throw a dead body outside the window every 10 minutes. And then I tuned out because Silvia has left the building! Nah, not really, only the holding cell.
Next, Silvia is at the shooting-range-turned-maternity ward. She's giving clean towels and instructions to Povedilla because she has to go attend to Curtis. There's a scene when Pove was panicking and talking to Silvia where MA was trying hard not to laugh (7:03). Next scene shows a completely serious Silvia.
Silvia goes back to the floor to check on Curtis. He is still bleeding and being held by his secret lover Quique. Montoya comes over to assist.
Silvia cuts Curtis' shirt to reveal the really bad fake blood smeared all over his hairy chest. He is still bleeding profusely and Silvia says he needs a transfusion. WHAT? HERE? NOW? HOW? We learn that Curtis' blood type is O positive.
Silvia crawls over to Paco and suckers him into giving blood. Et voilà, instant blood transfusion. Paco tells Curtis he's also receiving his cholesterol... Small talk, blah, blah, blah, Small talk.
Back Stories
There are SO MANY! Lucas and Aitor are outside fighting over Sara (what else is new?) while trying to rig the comisaria's ventilation system. Lola and Mariano's innocent flirtation is no longer so innocent; daydreams, heartaches, expectations, attractions, and all those other messy stuff are already in play. They almost kiss but are interrupted by Carlota and her little sheriff star necklace. Later on, Mariano and Lola realize that written on the pendant are coordinates. They enter the numbers into a GPS which leads them to the cemetery - the grave of Lucas' mother. They go down the crypt where (gag!) Lola and Mariano think it is the best time and place to talk about their feelings, the impossibility of their situation, etc. And they kiss. AND KISS AGAIN! In a crypt, in front of an open grave with a skeleton inside - THEY KISS! What the FUCK is wrong with these fucking writers? Seriously! I thought they would start making out right there and then if not for the lapida (grave marker) falling over revealing another grave. Inside they find all sorts of documents which include pictures of Ruth all lovey-dovey with Mr. Chipmunk.
The clusterfuck that is San Antonio is highlighted by a series of montage: Ruth dying, Montoya crying, Pove panicking, Rita crowning, DL crying, baby coming... Quique craddling bleeding Curtis on this lap... I am now half-expecting everyone to break into a sing-a-long of Se Me Olvido Otra Vez
DL faints from lack of insulin and Chipmunk is freed from his choke hold. Bad Guys lead their leader out of the holding cell, but the comisaria is surrounded and they have to find a way to get out of there. So they corral everyone into the main floor and start to choose hostages. Just then, the ventilation sytem starts working, Lucas knows that Aitor has succeeded in doing whatever it is he is supposed to do, and winks at Sara.
I don't know what happens next, I guess the vent system starts pumping carbon monoxide CO2 into the air, and everyone starts fading. Pove puts headsets into Rita with Pachelbel's Canon in D playing to calm her down and also to provide for the dramatic music as one by one, everyone starts falling down. VERY CHEESY SCENE, especially when the last 2 standing were Lucas and Sara and of course they fall into each other's arms. SOMEBODY, PLEASE SHOOT ME NOW BEFORE I SHOOT THESE TWO!
Just then, Aitor walks in with a mask to see everyone on the floor, and the scene before him is kinda like the morning after one of the parties at the University 24/7 Bar. The cops and SWAT team barge in. THEY AREN'T WEARING ANY MASK! WTF?
THE END?
Uhm, NO. It's a cliffhanger and you don't know who dies and who survives, who goes to jail and who gets their heart broken. The story arc will go on for another 5 episodes or so before El Kaiser comes in.
Watch the episode in HD
Piper's Commentary: For some reason, some folks pick this episode as one of their favorites and I don't really know why. The whole episode fails in the realism category. It's like someone presenting you with a loaded baked potato with all the goodies like sour cream and chives and bacon and cheddar. WITHOUT THE POTATO. Well, this episode is that loaded baked un-potato.
First of all, how can a police station, you know, WHERE THE COPS ARE, be held captive by a band of hoods? Really. How could Curtis survive after this? How could anyone not miraculously recover after being patched with Silvia's bra?
AND that fake blood! Good gawd! Whatever it was, it didn't look anything like blood, which is kinda distracting afterwards especially the way it's smeared on Pove's face.
And all these triangles: Luca-Sara-Aitor, Paco-Lola-Mariano, Silvia-Curtis-Quique... yeah, yeah, we get the point. And we all know the only triangle I understand can be solved by the Pythagorean Theorem a^2 + b^2 = c^2
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