24 October 2009
by Dr. Booker
When I was thirteen I was invited to an all girl costume party. What to wear? I knew that I would not be going as a princess or fairy godmother. My mom and I came up with items we had in the house, and a 1930's gangster was created. When I put on the shirt and tie, my father's old suit, and finally the hat....well it was like the sky opened up and angels began to sing. This was a moment when I knew that there was not a more perfect costume for me.
When I was thirteen I was invited to an all girl costume party. What to wear? I knew that I would not be going as a princess or fairy godmother. My mom and I came up with items we had in the house, and a 1930's gangster was created. When I put on the shirt and tie, my father's old suit, and finally the hat....well it was like the sky opened up and angels began to sing. This was a moment when I knew that there was not a more perfect costume for me.
When I arrived at the party, I saw mostly the costumes that I rejected: nurses, queens, and witches. There was a pirate and another "guy", and a few monsters. And there was this girl in the corner and all I can remember is that she had blonde hair and was wearing a green dress. She and I had one class together, but we had never talked before. She crossed the room and said how much she liked my outfit and that was the start of one of the most memorable nights of my life.When my dad was driving me home, he said "did you like being a gangster?" Could I tell him that I never wanted to take the suit off? Could I tell him that I spent most of the party with the blonde girl and that all I wanted to do was hold her hand? What was that about? Holding a girl's hand? Thinking about kissing her? It must be the suit...it had some kind of magical hold over me and made me feel these strange things.
The truth was that the suit allowed me the freedom to be myself, without even knowing it. I didn't want to be a gangster and I didn't think I wanted to be a man. I wanted to be a girl who held the blonde girl's hand. Girls holding hands. It was not the first time I thought of that, but this night helped me see who I could be and who I wanted to be with. The only problem was I had no idea what it meant.
We all have different kinds of suits or masks that have helped us find our way...our true selves. I think Pepa and Silvia have been a great vehicle for us to discover what and who we are. These characters certainly helped us find a community. Maybe PepSi helped us answer some questions: am I gay, bisexual or am I in denial about being straight? Why do I like watching these two women kiss so much? Who would I want...Pepa or Silvia?
Halloween is coming soon in America and there will be many parties to attend. I imagine a young girl getting ready for her first teen costume party...what to wear?
Blue jeans, black t-shirt and a vest? Or a red dress with a white lab coat? Decisions, decisions.
Dr. Booker
6 Comments:
I'm glad your inner dyke found a friend in the magic Gangsta / Mobster costume.
Catholic school kids did not dress up for Halloween... except as Saints, nuns, or priests - and not the naughty version either.
I know nothing about Halloween because we don't celebrate it in Holland. But if I would go to a Halloween Party in the US I would wear a Ninja Turtle costume. I love to kick some ass.
wonder women certainly empowered me as a child.
bracelets that could block bullets YEAH!
Booker I love your story. Any person with a tool belt empowers me. Is that dykey enough?
Dr. B, if I were a little gay kid, your lecture would be such an inspiration to me. You know what, scratch that. You're lecture - about the things in life that help us discover who we are no matter who that might be - is an inspiration period. Excellent job, doc!
Hey! I was a Catholic schoolgirl and I dressed up for Halloween!
I remember my favorite costume being Catwoman.
Not sure what that says about me.
p.s. The layout looks great!
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